My Own Front Porch

When you’ve had a bad day, under NO circumstances should you get in your car and go to Walmart!  If you manage to get into your vehicle (no one stops you) and start driving… DON’T EVER turn on the radio! They might play a song that makes you blat like a baby and you have to sit there for quite some time to pull yourself together before you can go inside.

Has this ever happened to you?  This is really how my day started today.  So many things went wrong yesterday that I couldn’t avoid the impending avalanche of tears this morning.

I made a startling discovery yesterday.  I’m a very selfish person living my own life on my own terms and I really don’t care enough about anyone else to change things before it’s too late.  …at least that’s what I made myself believe for a few hours before I came to my senses.  Yes, I’m selfish.  To the point of ignoring reality?  No.  It’s just hard to keep that balance sometimes…It’s a very fine line that separates the two extremes.

My friend Joanne passed away two months ago (see yesterday’s post).  I didn’t know.  I knew she was sick…but I thought it was one of those nuisance diseases…you know, one of those that will not kill you, but disrupt your life just enough to have to change things around?

Life happens.  People change.  They get married, have a bunch of kids, move far away and then lose touch.  That’s what I did.

Joanne’s signature is on the witness line on my marriage certificate.  We were good friends.  She saw me through some rough years when I was a young adult.  Sometimes she would give me sober, sage advice (she was 11 years older than me), and other times she was right next to me…both of us getting into equal amounts of trouble.  That’s what friends are for, right?  I didn’t find out until yesterday that she had a long illness at the end of her very short life (55 years).

Ok, well…I was kicking myself for having lost touch.    THEN…my oven broke, I started missing my oldest daughter (she lives in Kansas City), the dog peed on my living room carpet, the weather turned cold and I had to turn on the furnace (I hate winter!) and my birthday is tomorrow…which wasn’t such a bad thing until I realized I can’t do much because my budget for this pay period is spent and we don’t get paid til Monday!

So, I pull into the parking lot at Walmart and a song called Homesick comes on the radio!  I could end this post right here.  I know you would understand. 

But I want you to know something.  I learned something from this experience.  Joanne reminded me (even from the grave) to pay attention to the important stuff in life.

I’m going to spend more time on facebook, staying in touch with my family and friends.  I’m going to send more cards in the mail…the post office decided not to raise the price of stamps this year…I’d like to reward them for that smart decision.  I’ll call my mom and daughter more.  I DO have a flat rate for long distance after all.  I’m going to have a cup of coffee with my neighbor.  I keep telling her we should.  I’m going to sit and chat with my friends that are close by.  Who knows?  I might move far away again…  (Don’t panic, I don’t have any plans).

I figure that becoming a year older gives me the right to offer some advice…so there it is.  LIVE your life.  Pay attention to your relationships.  God gave them to you…  That’s all.